Remember when big dick energy was a thing? Well, it still is. But for now, we’re slightly shifting the narrative.
I’m an Aquarius so naturally, I like to daydream. And I’m not talking about the occasional zone out that may happen during a conversation or the brief disconnection from reality while you’re taking a walk but I mean, really daydream. While I still do daydream in those ways, I also just like to spend intentional time visualizing what I want my life to look like. This might include journaling, making lists or moodboarding. I believe it may be called visualizing or maybe even manifesting but I’ve probably been doing this since I was a kid.
As an only child, I spent a lot of time by myself and one thing you quickly learn to do as an only child is leverage your imagination. My mom would always enforce the idea that if you believe it, you can achieve it. I know, that sounds madd corny but it’s true. Half the battle in manifesting the life you want is first believing that it can even happen. Just the thought alone being planted in your mind is a sign that it belongs there and it’s up to you to water that seed.
So as I begin to move closer to 30 (three months, no big deal), I realized that I want to use this season to be a better version of myself than I was in my 20s. One day in therapy, I expressed to my therapist that I felt like I didn’t really have any real hobbies. Like of course, there were things that I enjoyed doing in my downtime but I think what I was trying to get across was that I didn’t have any fulfilling hobbies. My therapist then introduced me to this diagram which basically outlines areas of interest within your life and how essentially, your hobbies should tap into each of these. I examined it and realized I had a few hobbies that spoke to some of those areas but that weekend, I made an effort to fill in the gaps.
Not sure who created this. If y’all know, let me know and I’ll credit them.
Filling in the gaps included signing myself up for an online graphic design course and that particular weekend, I treated myself to brunch and to a mani-pedi. Although these don’t fulfill all the areas, I saw it as a start. I’ve always enjoyed solo dates but this one def hit different. It was beautiful outside so I made the conscious decision to use public transportation in order to make it multi-sensory experience. I love the convenience my car gives me but sometimes it takes the romance out of traveling. Being carless exposed me to all the sounds and emotions attached to nature. This made me slow down and feel the sun on my skin, I was able to hear people talking and was able to visually take in all my surroundings. I was able to truly be present in those moments which was really meaningful.
Since my date, I made the choice to design the life I wish I had. This is what I’d deem as having main character energy. You know when you’re watching shows and there’s the main character who always has yoga on Sundays or is always at the coffee shop because that’s their “thing?” Think, Joan from Girlfriends and her movie-going sweater or Carrie from SATC and the way she always writes on Sundays — THAT’S the energy I want to create for myself.
I want to have pockets of happiness that are truly curated and created by me. I feel like in this day and age, we attribute and connect so much of our happiness to outside sources whether that be other people, relationships or substances. In the long run, it’s just not healthy to be that dependent on anything for making you happy. And the worse part about it is that when it’s gone, your happiness goes right along with it. So here’s to new hobbies, more solo dates and becoming the main character in YOUR story.
How do y’all romanticize your lives ? Go off in the comments.